Coins & bullion since 1973
___________________________________________________________

1-800-869-5115

We educate first-time investors.
Expert professional guidance for safe haven investors.

Celebrating our 20th year on the World Wide Web!USAGOLD Coins

USAGOLD Menu BAR




THE

FORUM HALL OF FAME

The Lighter Side of Gold


Treasure Chest

(Post a New Message)

(Forum Archives)

(Hall of Fame)

INDEX

Goldfly's Greatest Hits

Bonedaddy (09/18/99) I think I'm Drowning

specie-man (6/16/04) The End of Cheap Oil -- or-- The International House of PUNcakes


Goldfly (10/25/98; 21:55:16MDT - Msg ID:797)

There's a tune that has been kicking around in my head for a few days, and now I'm putting it on...uh....ether. If you are a fan of Johnny Cash (or like me, your parents) you'll probably appreciate this. Elsewise, you still could get a smile out of it........

Sung to the tune of "Five feet high and rising."

How high's the spot price mama?
Three-oh-five and risin'
How high's the spot price papa?
She said it's three-oh-five and risin'

The dollar's weak and the yen is strong
The press is makin' like they knew it all along
Greenspan's singin' his same ol' song
Three-oh-five and risin'

How high's the spot price mama?
Three fifteen and risin'
How high's the spot price papa?
She said it's three fifteen and risin'

Well shorts are choking on the contracts they sold
Can't find enough metal to press into the mold
Looks like a good time to buy and hold
Three fifteen and risin'

How high's the spot price mama?
Three fifty and risin'
How high's the spot price papa?
She said it's three fifty and risin'

Now the paper markets are spinning down
In a sea of debt our economy has drowned
Looks like gold's gonna head for higher ground
Three fifty and risin'

How high's the spot price mama?
Three ninety and risin'
How high's the spot price papa?
She said it's three ninety and risin'

Well the London bankers are crawlin' on their knees
The Fed is crankin' up the money machines
Findin' out those dollars _do_ grow on trees
Three ninety and risin'

Three ninety and risin'......

****Feel free to add new verses as the price rises!****

--GF


Goldfly (12/19/98; 21:17:52MDT - Msg ID:1436)

(With many apologies to Clement C. Moore)

T'was just weeks before Euro
and howling 'round the nation
Were the dogs of war
and the winds of inflation

The markets were sleepy
and stood unawares
of all the harsh turmoil
that soon would be theirs

My wife took the checkbook
she unloaded the cash
Whilst I took my strong-box
and counted my cache

When from my front porch
there came such a roar
I reached for my pistol
and dashed to the door.

I flew as I ran,
my feet scarce touched the ground
I undid the latch
and I chambered a round

But who to my wondering
eyes should appear?
But Alan Greenspan
With a six-pack of beer!
[Illustrator note: St. Pauli Girl]

"Goldfly," said he
"I've been at it all night
I was just cruising by
When I spied-out your light"

He stepped in the door
looked me straight in the eye
Saying "Things are a mess"
I could make no reply

Putting a hand to his forehead
much furrowed with care
With a sigh of relief
he sank down in a chair

His eyes had no humor
as he passed out the brews
He put an end to the small talk
and gave me the news

He told me of meetings
and word going 'round
The price of the Dollar
would soon slump to the ground

"Those boys with their Euro
they're coming on strong
I fear that our money
will soon equal the Yuan"

But a wink of his eye
and a nod of his head
Soon told me much more
than any word he had said

"I can win this" he muttered
rising to the occasion
"I'll give it a standard
make the Dollar's foundation--

"Not paper, not palladium,
but something to hold
Not platinum, not copper,
not silver, GO GOLD!"

Like a man on a mission
he sprang from his chair
In his eye was a sparkle
while fairly floating on air--

He went to my kitchen
and he ran a great bill
Calling all the Fed bankers
to make known his will

When at last he had finished
quite pleased, I could tell
He went out the front stairs
and he bade us farewell

As he ambled into the night
his voice came to my ear--
"A merry Christmas to all,
with an exuberant New Year!"

--GF


Goldfly (1/5/99; 19:15:03MDT - Msg ID:1652)

Ladies and Gentlemen ---- The Fifth Dimension!

( Big intro heavy on the horns...... )

Dah-da-da-da dah da da dah
Dah-da-da-da dah da da dah

Up Up and away
with my beautiful Doubloons
Wouldn't you like to ride
with my beautiful Doubloons?

And we can soar above the marketplace
you and I
for we can buy!
BUY!!

Don't you have your eye
on my beautiful Doubloons?
Wouldn't you like to buy
into my beautiful Doubloons?

And we can chase the precious metals index
to the sky
for we can buy!
BUY!!

Up Up and away with my beautiful
my beautiful
Doubloons!!!

( fade )
Up Up and away
Up Up and away
Up Up and away

Hey, with a bunch of heavy-hitters like the 5D on your side, you know you can't go wrong!


Goldfly (2/14/99; 18:35:41MDT - Msg ID:2406)
For the Hobbits......... Got Music?
To the tune- "I got you babe"

HER: They say we're dumb and we don't know
....The NASDAQ is the only way wealth grows
HIM: Maybe that's so, but I tell you what
....When it comes to Gold- I'll take a pot.

HIM: Gold
BOTH: I got Gold babe
.....I got Gold babe

HER: They say our Gold won't pay the rent
....That barbarous relic, it ain't worth a cent
HIM: Well I don't know if all that's true
....'Cause they don't know what Y2K can do

HIM: Gold
BOTH: I got Gold babe
.....I got Gold babe

HIM: Those short-sales are hasslin' me
....Makes me wonder what the future will be
HER: When the dollar's flat and the market's down
....Then they'll get scared and come around

HER: Don't listen to their Siren song,
....'Cause I don't care, with Gold I can't go wrong
HIM: Then I'll stake a claim- we'll make a find!
....There ain't no hill or mountain that we can't mine

HIM: Gold
BOTH: I got Gold babe
.....I got Gold babe

HIM: I got Gold that's fine for me
HER: I got Gold to shine for me
HIM: Gold in my hand- that really counts
HER: Financial security by the ounce
....I got Gold- I won't let go
....I got Gold and it's yellow glow
....I got Gold- I'll hold it tight
....I got Gold- I sleep at night

BOTH: I Go-o-o-o-o-t A-U babe
.....Got A-U babe
.....Got A-U babe
.....Got A-U babe

--GF


Goldfly (3/20/99; 9:31:28MDT - Msg ID:3607)

Yesterday
We had a party and we sang away
Now I envy those who squirreled away
Oh, I believe in Y2K

Suddenly,
There are no banks, or water, or TV
And they've declared a state emergency
Oh, Y2K is cramping me

Now the power grid's down, for how long, I couldn't say
Guess they told us wrong, now I long for yesterday......

Yesterday
Lies and obfuscation were the way
Now the Devil is the one to pay
Oh, I believe in Y2K

--GF

Goldfly (3/22/99; 22:29:30MDT - Msg ID:3726)
Doing my best Elvis....

Thank ya. Thank ya all for your kind attention....

I'd like to dedicate this one to my friend AEL.
AEL brother.... I love ya man- don't ever change....

Now remember, this goes Gee-A-Tee-A...Thank ya...Thank ya

Yesterday
That was when the shorts could have their way
The price of Gold was held in their sway
Oh, I believe G.A.T.A

Suddenly,
Demand's quadruple what it use to be
But there's no stocks at COMEX you see
Oh, give markets transparency

Now the chips are down, to be wrong, it wouldn't pay
Gold's had for a song, I'll go long G.A.T.A.....

Yesterday
Gold was half the price it is today
And tomorrow's going the same way
Oh, I believe G.A.T.A

--GF


Goldfly (7/10/99; 23:42:49MDT - Msg ID:8648)

Scene: My house, last Thursday night.

Goldfly: There's another contest on the board. (Notice: THE board.)

Wife of Goldfly: Again?!

GF: Hey! You know, they have a new section. The "Hall of Record." This guy Aristotle wrote a killer series and they're going to open the page with them all in one piece. When they put it up, I'll print it out for you.

WOG: Aristotle? You have someone that calls themselves Aristotle?

GF: Yeah, well, why not?

WOG: There's a contest-

GF: Yeah, but I don't think I'm going to en-

WOG: So is this what your going to be doing all weekend?

GF: No. You're supposed to write a letter to the Old Lady of Threadneedle Street-

WOG: Who???

GF: The Bank of England. It's on Threadneedle Street, and it's been there a long time.

WOG: Oh. So is this what your going to be doing all weekend?

GF: Naw, I don't have anything to say to the Bank of England

WOG: So? Don't write a letter, write a song!

(Musical effects: DA-dummmmm)

GF: Oh no.

WOG: What?

GF: When you said that a song jumped into my head.

WOG: Well you'd better win some gold.. I'm tired of this silver!

Goldfly arches an eyebrow (like Spock), Wife of Goldfly grins. Goldfly retires to the den..

I'd apologize to the Beach Boys. But actually I think they owe US an apology

It's the little old lady on Thread Needle Street

It's the little old lady on Thread Needle Street
Old lady, old lady, old lady's gold
Got a bunch of short friends that are taking some heat
Old lady, old lady, old lady's gold
But stashed in her rickety old vaults
Is some old shiny yellow precious metals

And nobody's trashing gold under their feet
Like that little old lady on Thread Needle Street
She divests her gold- unloading her hoard
She's a terror on a Colorado bulletin board

It's the little old lady on Thread Needle Street

You can hear it on the street she's gettin' in her licks now
Old lady, old lady, old lady's gold
With the price of gold down to two-fifty-six now
Old lady, old lady, old lady's gold
You know she's gonna get hers now sooner or later
'Cause for all of that gold just fiat they paid her

And nobody's trashing gold under their feet
Like that little old lady on Thread Needle Street
It dives real fast and it lands real hard
She's a terror on a Colorado bulletin board

And nobody's trashing gold under their feet
Like that little old lady on Thread Needle Street
She divests her gold- unloading her hoard
She's a terror on a Colorado bulletin board

It's the little old lady on Thread Needle Street

To handle finances I wouldn't choose her
Old lady, old lady, old lady's gold
Of your hard assets you'd be a loser
Old lady, old lady, old lady's gold
Guys come for the gold from miles around
But she won't let them bid she just shuts 'em out

And nobody's trashing gold under their feet
Like that little old lady on Thread Needle Street
It dives real fast and it lands real hard
She's a terror on a Colorado bulletin board

It's the little old lady from Thread Needle Street

Old lady, old lady, old lady's gold
B-O-E
Old lady, old lady, old lady's gold
B-O-E
Old lady, old lady, old lady's gold
B-O-E
Old lady, old lady, old lady's gold
B-O-E

--GF



Goldfly (8/23/99; 19:32:41MDT - Msg ID:11888)

Anyway, in the interest of wasting bandwidth, sing this to the tune "My Girl"

You've got T-bills for a rainy day.
But for smart investors, I've got a better way.
I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way
My gold (my gold, my gold)
Talkin' 'bout my gold (my gold)

I've got so much riches, the Feds envy me.
And when the taxman comes, my wealth he can't see.
Big bucks you'll pay
Just to take one ounce away
But it's my gold (my gold, my gold)
Talkin' 'bout my gold (my gold)

Ooooh.

Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey

I don't need your greenbacks, fiat's a shame.
All the paper tycoons, will go to flames.
I guess you'd pray
What can take that sin away?
Well it's my gold (my gold, my gold)
Talkin' 'bout my gold (my gold)

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day
with my gold.
I've got the better way
with my gold (fade)

--GF


Goldfly (10/6/99; 14:09:22MDT - Msg ID:15674)
This should really need no introduction, except. Respects to Tennessee Ernie Ford. The man who said:

"You have to remember, success is in the eye of the beholder."

16 Tons

Let me tell you the story why my name is mud
I worked a hustle in somebody's blood
Fleecing investors and doing wrong
With a line that's a-weak, I'm Martin Armstrong

(Refrain)
You short sixteen tons, what do you get?
Another day order and somebody's debt
BOE don't you call me 'cause I can't cover
I sold your gold down at the COMEX floor

If you see me comin', better run and hide
A lotta men didn't, and their assets are fried
Bars of iron, and vaults of steel
If the Feds don't a-get you, then GATA sure will

(Refrain)

I was bored one morning - I said "gold it don't shine"
Picked up a ledger and I added some lines
Shorted 16 tons of pure refined Gold
And the Vault Clerk said "well a-bless my soul"

(Refrain)

I had a racket but it's down the drain
Leasin' and shortin' is the name of my game
Ran a gold carry with a with the bonds a-buyin'
Can't a-make the margin with my credit line

You short sixteen tons, what do you get?
Another day order and somebody's debt
BOE don't you call me 'cause I can't cover
I sold your gold down at the COMEX floor

I SOOLLLD your GoOoOollllld down at the COMEX floor


Bonedaddy (09/18/99; 00:25:18MDT - Msg ID:13870)
I think I'm drowning
Seven tenths of the earth's surface is covered by water. Every year thousands of people die because of too much water. So many have died from it, that long ago a word began to be used to describe these events. Now drowning is also used to describe many kinds of excesses.

We're drowning in liquidity, we're drowning in debt, we're drowning our sorrows.

Our lives are filled with sights and sounds and activities designed to drown out the voices of conscience and reason. While in the grocery the other day I noticed a pint of bottled water "on sale" at only fifty cents. Water, only $4 per gallon. Mildred, get over here!

Sixty five gallons of water or an ounce of gold.

Don't be confused by the plastic bottle, it's reusable and not worth much. ( Gee, I hope I'm not being unwise by acquiring more gold at the 65 gallons to the ounce price.) Bottled water also costs three times as much as a gallon of gasoline. It seems that we place a very high priority on convenience today. Convenience is prized more highly than necessity. Of course most people aren't buying gold right now.

They're too busy walking around malls, drowning in debt, squirting four-dollar-a-gallon water in their mouths.


specie-man (6/16/04; 03:12:01MT - usagold.com msg#: 122141)
**** The End of Cheap Oil ****
What will the end of cheap oil mean as a permanent state of affairs for the U.S. economy?
For the world economy? What will it mean for gold?

USA gold will be used to buy oil.
No one will know until a few gold billion turn up missing.

The Sitting Buck will finally get picked off.
Bonds away !!!

Bush will be sent to the Bush League.
Kerry will be sorry he got the job, just like Carter.
Father Guido Sarducci will make sure of it.

Terrorism will continue unabated, and horrorism will grow unabashed.
The House of Saud will be forced into exile in Texas where they will start a ranch.
The media will call their spread "Howdy Arabia".
But as luck would have it, they'll discover the last remaining drops of US oil on their land.
The Middle Beast will rear it's ugly wellhead (again and again - but to no avail).

Japan will be in a no-gold situation.
Goldzilla will attack and destroy Tokyo unreal estate.

The Chinese will buy anything they can with their Federal Reserve NOTs.
A Stupid Trinkets (ST) factory will be set up in Newark.
It will manufacture endless unneccessities for the Chinese market.
But the Chinese won't buy any because they prefer to make their own and sell them to US.
But we will sell them scrap recycled plastic from toys made in China and sold years ago at Wal-Mart -
for 5 times what we paid for it.

Toro D'Oro will run rampant in the China shop.

The NAS-DAQ stock exchange will be NAS-TY.
The DOWn Industrial Average will go way down - it won't even be "average" any more.
The DOW will be positively Dour.

Toilet paper investments will get flushed.
They'll pull the peg on the Dollar.
No one will want to buy US Tragedy Bonds.

When convicted of "GSE" (Government-Sponsored Embezzlement),
Freddie & Fannie executives will go directly to jail.
Do not pass gold.

Diesels will be scrapped in favor of donkeys. Donkey carts will be big.
Genetically-engineered donkeys will be able to pull 25% more than ever before.
But they'll be 50% more stubborn.

The Baby Doomers will not be able to retire on time (if at all).
Many will have to get jobs riding shotgun on donkey carts (or cleaning up after them).
American cities will smell like everyone is passing the gas (pumps).
"Road Rage" will take on a decidedly different tone.

Everyone will finally realize that the Soylent Greenback is made out of people's debt.
And Americans and Asians will be forced to eat Soylent Greenspam for years to come.
But in the Gold Folks home we'll still eat real strawberry preserves -
which will cost $500 in Federal Reserve Nots (or two silver quarters) per jar.

He who has lots of "stuff" will prevail.
We all have a gold mind in the back of our heads.
But only a select few listen to it.
Thing King will rule.
For he is the "Dude Uncommon" who now holds gold.


specie-man (6/23/04; 15:34:03MT - usagold.com msg#: 122446)
The End of Cheap Oil - part two
Cut off the supply of oil lubrication to an engine and it will grind to a destructive halt. The economy will do the same.

And when it does, all the TV financial pundits will be left shaking in their mute. All the really important economic facts will slip through the quacks. Stock cheerleaders will choke on their pom-poms. The S & P index will leave investors Stranded & Poor.

Interest rate derivatives will vaporize. Insurers will sue. Counter-parties will counter-sue. James Bond Vigilantes will not help matters.

Checks can not be cashed. The issuance of cash can not be checked.

Trash will be burned in empty 55-gallon oil drums to generate heat for increasing numbers living on the street. The Snow job will just make it worse. Cash will be like trash. "Throw it all in the cash can".

The government-issued medium of exchange will become almost all digital. The new refrain on the street will be: "your imperial credits are no good out here !". Digital petrodollars will be about as popular as diesel fumes.

A nefarious mastermind will increase the value of oil even further - simply by not selling. The few remaining oil suppliers (including this "Oilfinger") will desire something more substantial for their crude - like gold. Or platinum. Or palladium. Or plutonium.

Talk of a renewed Gold Standard will increase. "Opportunity [Ft.] Knox !" Some Gold Certificates will be issued (secretly). Then too many will be issued (secretly). Gold reserves are mobilized to cover commitments. Then the velocity of gold increases to hide the shortfall. Velocities increase until the tangible world of gold collides with the intangible world of digital credits. Here stops the Buck.

The Credit Suisse First Boston bank (CSFB) will be given a new nickname - the "Commercial Signal Failure Bank"
(CSFB).

In the competition for scarce oil, the good (desired) money will push aside the bad. Digital credits are like a static charge. When they come up against a good economic conductor like gold, they discharge into nothingness.

The Argent at Arms will run the Fiat off a cliff.

Dislocation pressures are building, due to continued manipulations of all markets in the name of "stability". The result will instability. The "Big One", when it comes, will rip like a perfect 10.0 on the San Andreas.

We will find out if "deficits don't matter". Oil deficits matter.


© 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002 All material is copyrighted property of the indicated contributor, presented at USAGOLD by permission. All rights reserved.


Coins & bullion since 1973


Order Desk
1-800-869-5115
Extension # 100

Prefer email to get started?
orderdesk@usagold.com


- Hours -
6:00am - 5:00pm
U.S. Mountain Time
Monday - Friday

bbb
Better Business Bureau Rating A+
Zero Complaints

- Mailing Address -
USAGOLD
P.O. Box 460009
Denver, Colorado 80246-0009


Saturday July 22
website support: sitemaster@usagold.com
Site Map - Risk Disclosure - Privacy Policy - Shipping Policy - Terms of Use
© 1997-2017 USAGOLD All Rights Reserved